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How to Talk About Life Insurance with Friends



A funny thing about life insurance: It’s usually something you talk about with the people you know most intimately, like your immediate family. Or it’s something you discuss with a total stranger, like a customer success person or, practically speaking, with the author of this article. But what about what some call the family you choose – your friends?

Whether you see them regularly, or just at weddings or during the holidays, or maybe the occasional group trip or Zoom reunion, it can be striking how much you̵

7;ve been through together – kids, marriage, maybe a few heartbreaks.

Here at Haven Life HQ, that combination makes us think about life insurance and all the people who don’t have it. If you have a friend who has dependents but isn’t covered, you might want to talk to them about it – but how?

While the process of getting life insurance is often incredibly simple, talking about the need for it can be tricky because it involves death, money, financial situations, and other things that not everyone likes to talk about. For that reason, we have some tips for how to broach the subject, and some things to say when the review is done.

In this article:

Set the rules of engagement

Before you begin, you should be prepared for a few things.

One: Be willing to answer any questions you may ask. Will you ask your friend how they would financially cope with the death of their spouse? Then you should be ready to answer the same question – it’s only fair, and it will make the conversation feel like a two-way interaction, not an interrogation or a sales pitch.

Two: be ready to be rejected and to be magnanimous about it. You might talk to your friend about life insurance for their benefit, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily want to discuss it. While it’s worth pushing a little, don’t do it so much that you upset or offend your friend.

Talk one to one. Or as a group

You know your friend better than we do, so you’re the best judge of whether they’ll respond better to the conversation if it’s just the two of you or if it involves a larger group.

One on one can make your friend feel less self-conscious about what could be an intimate discussion, or it can make the whole thing feel more intense and like a bigger deal than it needs to be. Talking about life insurance as a group can make people feel less out of place and less alone when thinking about death, or it can make the person without coverage feel connected if everyone else has it.

Consider the pros and cons and think about what would work best for you and your mate.

Share your experience

We don’t mean you shall spend the evening enchanting people with your best anecdotes. What you should do is frame the life insurance discussion in terms of how you came to think of it yourself. Maybe you got married, had a baby, saw the mess left behind when a friend died without coverage. Then tell your friend that it made you wonder if they had it, and maybe they should.

When you suggest to a friend that they buy life insurance, you’re basically talking about their untimely death, so if you can show that you got there by thinking about your own, it feels less like nosy, less nosy, more we re- in-this-together.

If you have life insurance, mention this and talk about how easy it was to get. (And if that wasn’t easy, tell your friend what mistakes you made or what horrible insurance company they should avoid when looking for coverage.) If you don’t have coverage but suggest someone else should, be ready to explain this dichotomy : Perhaps you are childless, single and generally against love; Maybe you think you’re too young to need life insurance. (Spoiler alert: it’s unlikely to be true.)

Have some facts handy

Many people don’t have life insurance because they think it’s either expensive or a huge pain to get coverage. For most people, none of these things are the case, but it will be easier to convince your friend of this if they don’t just have to take your word for it. If they are your age and in comparable health, you can just tell them about your process and what it cost you.

If not, direct them to the Haven Life quote tool. It can provide them with a life insurance quote in minutes and help them get started with their life insurance application. They will likely be pleasantly surprised at how easy it is, not to mention how affordable it is.

Remember your why – and theirs

For people who are young and healthy, another reason they don’t have life insurance is that it just doesn’t seem necessary: ​​Death seems far away. One of the most important things you can convey to a friend about life insurance is what it’s really for.

As we have all sadly seen in recent years, sometimes people just die, even if they were healthy, even if it was unexpected. Life insurance exists so that your loved ones have financial coverage in the event that they have to deal with the tragedy that your untimely passing would bring, and the final expenses that an insurance death benefit would cover. Doing this for your loved ones is an act of generosity, a gift.

Getting life insurance is also a gift to yourself: It gives you peace of mind, knowing that your family will be taken care of should the worst happen.

And life insurance is also like a financial safety belt for your children, if you have them, and your partner. No one gets behind the wheel of a car with their children in it and plans to crash, but no one allows their children to ride in the car without a seat belt either.

Feel free to use any of these arguments, depending on your audience.

Be about the family

Depending on your friend’s circumstances, you may find yourself suggesting that their partner (or even their ex) get life insurance. For example, if your friend’s partner is the breadwinner in their relationship, it would be important for that partner to have life insurance so your friend is financially protected if their partner dies.

If your friend has a child with an ex, it may well be that the ex should have a policy for their shared offspring. Your friend may not have thought of this. Getting into this sort of thing can seem intrusive, but if you state the reasons why it’s important in a matter-of-fact way, it’s less uncomfortable. Again, you know your friend better than we do, and if you want to wade into these potentially fraught waters.

Follow up – or not

Whether you return to the conversation at another time depends on a few things. Have you agreed to give your friend some information? Did they say they would think about it and you could talk some more? Did you get off to a good start in a productive conversation about life insurance and then get interrupted?

When you first talk to a friend about life insurance, your goal shouldn’t necessarily be for them to decide to get it right then and there. Instead, it can just be the (very useful) start of a longer conversation.

And if they just don’t want to talk about it, then you might just have to accept defeat. Life insurance is very important, but so is friendship: Talking about one should not affect the other.

Our editorial policy

Haven Life is a customer-centric life insurance agency supported and wholly owned by Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company (MassMutual). We believe that navigating life insurance decisions, your personal finances and overall well-being can be refreshingly simple.

Our editorial policy

Haven Life is a customer-centric life insurance agency supported and wholly owned by Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company (MassMutual). We believe that navigating life insurance decisions, your personal finances and overall well-being can be refreshingly simple.

Our content is created for educational purposes only. Haven Life does not endorse the companies, products, services or strategies discussed here, but we hope they can make your life a little less difficult if they fit your situation.

Haven Life is not authorized to provide tax, legal or investment advice. This material is not intended to provide and should not be used for tax, legal or investment advice. Individuals are encouraged to obtain advice from their own tax or legal advisor.

Our disclosures

Haven Term is a term life insurance policy (DTC and ICC17DTC in some states, including NC) issued by Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company (MassMutual), Springfield, MA 01111-0001 and offered exclusively through Haven Life Insurance Agency, LLC. In NY, Haven Term is DTC-NY 1017. In CA, Haven Term is DTC-CA 042017. Haven Term Simplified is a Simplified Issue Term Life Insurance Policy (ICC19PCM-SI 0819 in some states, including NC) issued by CM Life Insurance Company, Enfield, CT 06082. Police and driver form numbers and features may vary by state and may not be available in all states. Our agency license number in California is OK71922 and in Arkansas 100139527.

MassMutual is rated by AM Best Company as A++ (Superior; Top category of 15). The rating is valid from 1 April 2020 and is subject to change. MassMutual has received different ratings from other credit rating agencies.

Haven Life Plus (Plus) is the marketing name for the Plus rider, which is included as part of the Haven Term policy and offers access to additional services and benefits at no cost or at a discount. The driver is not available in all states and is subject to change at any time. Neither Haven Life nor MassMutual is responsible for the provision of the benefits and services made available under the Plus Rider, which are provided by third party providers (partners). For more information about Haven Life Plus, visit: https://havenlife.com/plus

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