How to celebrate Valentine’s Day during inflation

“Valentine’s Day during inflation can be a scary situation for some couples,” says relationship expert Jessica Alderson. “But it doesn’t have to be.”

Alderson is the co-founder of SoSyncd, a dating app that matches people based on one of 16 personality types. I’m an INTJ partnered with an INTP, which means the two of us will approach Valentine’s Day as we always do – with a few well-chosen words and the gift of each other’s company.

Other personality types may want different kinds of parties—and many of those celebrations are likely to be more expensive than you expected. Whether you’re making dinner reservations, shopping for jewelry, or just hoping to buy a bouquet of red roses at the grocery store, you’ll probably pay more for Valentine’s Day this year than you did last year.

Of course, this is not just because prices have risen. It’s also because wages haven’t. “Many people have experienced reduced spending power in recent years due to inflation and stagnant wages,” Alderson explains, “so it’s only natural to be mindful of how much you spend on celebrations.”

Alderson is an INFP, which means her perspective is a bit more emotionally oriented than mine — but the two of us agree that there’s no reason to spend money you can’t afford on a vacation that’s as flexible and customizable as All Valentine’s day.

Here’s what you need to know.

There is no right or wrong way to celebrate Valentine’s Day

One of the biggest mistakes I made, early on in my relationship, was assuming that Valentine’s Day had to be a certain way for a reason. People wouldn’t give each other heart-shaped boxes of chocolates unless there was some kind of emotional payoff, right?

As it turns out, the profit is not in the chocolate. It’s also not in the roses – especially if you’re not a gift-oriented personality type.

When my partner brought home a bouquet of roses from the grocery store on Valentine’s Day, as an INTP-style experiment to see if roses actually made the day feel special, we learned very quickly that roses didn’t matter to us. What mattered was that we had set aside an entire evening to spend together. The payoff for us came from giving each other our time.

“There’s no right or wrong way to celebrate Valentine’s Day,” says Alderson. “It all depends on the specific dynamics of each couple and what makes each individual feel loved.”

This goes double with the price increases due to the rate of inflation, as everything is almost twice as expensive – but it also goes both ways.

If your partner loves giving and receiving gifts, one of the best things you can do for your relationship is to make sure that gifts are a part of your Valentine’s Day celebration. The same goes for dinner reservations, especially if the only way you and your partner can spend uninterrupted quality time with each other is by hiring a babysitter and leaving the house for a date night.

“Don’t let inflation keep you from doing what’s important,” advises Alderson. I agree – with the proviso that you also don’t let February 14 push you into doing something that’s unimportant, especially if it costs more than you expected.

You can celebrate Valentine’s Day without spending any money

It goes without saying that there are plenty of inexpensive ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day — but it’s traditional to list them, so here are some of Alderson’s top tips for couples on a budget.

“Consider sending a handmade card, writing a letter of appreciation, taking a walk in nature, volunteering together, preparing a romantic meal or watching a movie together at home. All of these activities are free or inexpensive and can be just as meaningful as a lavish gift.”

If you celebrate Valentine’s Day not only with your partner or spouse, but also with the whole family, consider using the day as an opportunity to teach your children how to make and receive thoughtful gifts at low cost. Remember that Valentine’s Day can also be about acts of service, if your partner agrees to finally clean out the basement, or if you and your kids bake a batch of cookies to take to grandma and grandpa.

There are many ways to share your time and energy with the people you love—and the people who love you the most don’t want you to spend more than you can afford.

You don’t have to make up for past Valentine’s Day celebrations

For some couples, the past few years may have brought less than optimal Valentine’s Day celebrations. Celebrating Valentine’s Day during Covid, for example, often meant eating takeout in your pajamas – which might be fine for couples who fall on the introverted side of the personality spectrum, but might have been less fun for the extroverts.

What does this mean for this year’s celebration? It really depends on what you and your partner want and need. “The fact that we’ve had years of truncated celebrations doesn’t have to be a reason to go all out this year,” says Alderson, “but you can choose to see it as a sign that it’s time to cash out if that’s what you both want.”

If you decide to splurge, do the math first — and see if you and your partner can give yourselves not only the Valentine’s Day of your dreams, but also a balanced budget. Don’t let your Valentine’s Day celebration stop you from paying off your debt, saving an emergency fund, or keeping your 2023 financial resolutions.

Instead, follow Alderson’s advice and spend more on Valentine’s Day by spending less on other days. “Take the money you would normally spend elsewhere and put it towards something special that both parties will enjoy.”

Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to do Valentine’s Day — and no rule that says you have to make up for past disappointments. For many couples, letting the past be the past also allows them to move forward. This also frees you up to make Valentine’s Day 2023 exactly what you want it to be – with or without chocolates, roses or reservations.

Just make sure you do something, even if it’s as simple as taking five minutes to tell the person you love why you love them. “Prioritizing this special day can help keep the spark alive and remind couples of why they fell in love in the first place,” says Alderson—and as an INTJ who values ​​prioritization above almost everything else, I agree.